Goosebumps #19 – “Deep Trouble”

Via Fantastic Fiction

I have to give this book props for a couple of reasons. First, the scene on the cover actually did happen. There was a shark attack, though it’s not exactly the most important part of the book. I guess if they had put a mermaid on the cover, it would have been considered a “girly” book. Speaking of which…

There are mermaids in this book! Can you believe it? And they’re not just pretty, Anglo-Saxon girls with clear skin and good vocal chords, either. They’re actually kind of bad-ass, in their own way.

This book is less kid-lit horror, and more adventure, which was a nice change of pace. I think Stine really wanted to write an old-fashioned adventure book, and I have to admit that he succeeds. I have a feeling this was just kind of thrown in with the Goosebumps franchise, but Deep Trouble could actually stand on its own pretty well, I think. So, mateys, are ye ready for some fun on the high seas?

Arrrr… Or whatever.

Back Cover Blurb:

Don’t go in the water!

Billy and his sister, Sheena, are visiting their uncle Dr. Deep on a tiny Caribbean island. It’s the perfect place to go exploring underwater… and Billy’s ready for adventure.

There’s only one rule to remember: Stay away from the coral reefs. Still, the reefs are so beautiful. So peaceful. Billy can’t resist.

But he’s not alone in the water. Something’s lurking deep below the surface. Something dark and scaly.

Something that’s half-human, half-fish…

Read more ›

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Posted in Danger, Goosebumps

Goosebumps #41 – “Bad Hare Day”

via Fantastic Fiction

Well, well, well… Didn’t think I’d be seeing you again.

I’m happy to say that I’m going to be doing my damndest to get back to doing regular recaps. The last few months have been a little nutty–

Whoever wants to hear about my adventures flunking grad school, raise your hands!

Anybody? No? Bueller? Bueller?

–but I’ve missed this blog and my super funny, super snarky, hella awesome readers more than I can say. With all that mushiness out of the way, let’s get it on!

Back-Cover Blurb:

Pick a scare. Any scare.

Trick cards, floating scarves, disappearing doves. Tim Swanson loves magic tricks. Someday he wants to be a real magician. Just like his all-time favorite hero, Amaz-O.

But then Tim goes to Amaz-O’s show. And he finds out his idol is a total grump. That’s when Tim decides to steal the back of tricks. Amaz-O’s back of secret tricks. Scary tricks.

The one with the multiplying red balls. (That’s what she said!)

And all those hissing snakes… Read more ›

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Posted in Goosebumps, Personal Crap, Questionable Parenting

The Neverending Story – Pt. 1


Yay for movie recaps! I wanted to switch things up a bit, so let’s see how this goes, shall we? I seriously loved this movie as a kid–still love it, I think. While I’m mostly a fan of the book, the movie holds a special place in my heart for its fantastic creatures and catchy theme song.

I’d be slacking if I didn’t mention the credits at all. They’re decent opening credits–big, fantastic clouds, hints of the Nothing, that famous theme song we’ve all come to love.

Go ahead, Play it. I guarantee it’ll be stuck in your head all damn day. Read more ›

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Posted in Danger, Movie Recaps, Stereotypes

Goosebumps #36 – “The Haunted Mask II”


Halloween only comes once a year, but when you recap Goosebumps books, you can celebrate just as often as you’ve got the Halloween-themed books to supply it.

In true Halloween spirit, I made sure to gobble down as much leftover candy as possible. By the time I was finished with this book, there were Twizzler and Kit-Kat wrappers everywhere–it was like a bunch of twelve-year-olds had thrown a party or something.

Unfortch, I don’t have a copy of “The Haunted Mask,” but you can find a nifty recap of the TV episodes here.

Back-Cover Blurb:
Just call him Prune Face!

Steve Boswell will never forget Carly Beth’s Halloween mask. It was so gross. So terrifying.

But this year Steve wants to have the scariest costume on the block. So he gets a mask from the same store where Carly Beth got hers. It looks like a creepy old man. With stringy hair. A wrinkled face. And spiders crawling out of the ears!

Steve’s definetely got the scariest mask around. Too bad he’s starting to feel so old. And so tired. And so evil… Read more ›

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Posted in Danger, Goosebumps

Goosebumps #48 – “Attack of the Jack-O’-Lanterns


I know, I know. It’s not quite Halloween any more, but hopefully this wonderful book (with it’s pumpkin-headed villains and WTF ending) will still be a treat. Note the trick-or-treaters on the cover–obviously wearing your normal clothes, but jamming a pumpkin on top of your head works for a costume.

I guess I can’t complain. Last night I wore a stocking cap with cat ears on top and said “meow” occasionally. I was going to be Little Red Riding Hood or maybe Zombie Blair Waldorf, but I just didn’t pull it together in time. Makes me think that these kids were like, “Crap! We don’t have costumes. Let’s just wear pumpkins! That’s BRILLIANT!”

Back Cover Blurb:
Pumpkin power!

Nothing beats Halloween. (Except for maybe Chuck Norris.) It’s Drew Brockman’s favorite holiday. And this year will be awesome. Much better than last year. Or the year Lee and Tabby played that joke. A nasty practical joke on Drew and her best friend, Walker.

Yes, this year Drew and Walker have a plan. A plan for revenge. It involves two scary pumpkin heads.

But something’s gone wrong. Way wrong. Because the pumpkin heads are a little too scary. A little too real. With strange hissing voices. And flames shooting out of their faces… Read more ›

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Posted in Danger, Goosebumps, Stereotypes

The Baby-Sitters Club #2 – “Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls”

Via BSC Wiki

Via BSC Wiki

Yay! A Claudia book!

She’s always had a special place in my heart. We’ve got a lot in common. As a kid, I was also… um… less than brainy. I know what you’re thinking–little asian girls with bad grades exist in real life?

Yes, they do. We’re extremely rare. It’s like finding a unicorn or something.

Back-Cover Blurb:
None this time. Sorry! I’m reading this in a big compilation of the first three books, so I don’t get the benefit of feisty back-cover copy. Perhaps I can make it up to you, though.

You’re welcome. Read more ›

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Posted in BabySitters Club, Danger

“The Hitchhiker” by R.L. Stine


Damn, I missed you guys. I swore to myself that I’d update this blog every single week, but look how long it’s been since my last post.

Five weeks long, that’s what.

I’ve got no excuses–we’re all busy. I don’t want to be one of those a-holes who acts like I’m too busy to blog. I’m not too busy to watch Glee or post suggestive photos on Myspace, so it’s just an issue of time management. As a token of my sincere apologies, I present to you my first-ever non-Goosebumps R.L. Stine recap.

It’s not a Fear Street book, but it’s one of his works for teens. Can you handle the (PG-13) scares?

Back-Cover Blurb:
Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a deadly ride…

He wants a ride. She wants a thrill. So in spite of her best friend Terri’s arguments, Christina stops to pick up the handsome hitchhiker.

He’s everything she thought he’d be. And more. Much, much, more.

Maybe too much more.

Maybe enough to thrill Christina and Terri… to death…

Ooooh. Enter if you dare! Read more ›

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Posted in Danger, Other books, Personal Crap