The Baby-Sitters Club – “Jessi and the Mystery of the Stolen Secrets”


The opening montage consists of the BSC coaching the kids as they play a nice little game of baseball. I guess that the BSC has this cute Little League-type setup with their regular kids, complete with matching uniforms and monogrammed hats. And here I thought we were having a difficult time trying to scrape together funds for Kid Kits. Now I see why.

The weird thing is, they’re actually competing against other teams sometimes. I’m kind of confused about that–are they an official team? Or are they playing other BSC-type clients? I thought they had an iron-fisted monopoly on this kind of thing.

Anyway, after we get an obligatory eye-roll at Jackie Rowdowsky’s stupidity, we see Kristy being seriously pushy and treating the children as pawns to further her lust for competition. She yells at them to have more team spirit, because we all know that yelling is the best way to inspire loyalty.


We also meet Matt, one of Jessi’s regulars. He’s deaf, and so Jessi has learned how to sign fluently in order to take better care of him. I have no idea how long this took her–I tried to learn sign language once and I could barely get past the letter M in the alphabet.

Oh, and Charlotte Johanssen confesses to Stacey that she’s got kind of a hard-on for her teammate, Buddy. This would be a cute scene, but Charlotte is such a pushy little jerk that it’s actually kind of annoying. She swears Stacey to secrecy, and instead of telling Charlotte to stop yelling at her all the time, Stacey just stands there and takes it.

Of course, Charlotte has another damn meltdown when Jackie later teases her about her Buddy love. She yells at Stacey again and then starts whining that she wants to go home. Ugh, shut up, Charlotte. It’s whiney-ass kids like you who really bring out my inner-Grandmother (as in, from Flowers in the Attic).

If I were there, I’d be all, “Be silent! Learn control!”

But since I’m not there, I can only snark from afar. Oh, well.

Anyway, later Jessi’s sitting for Matt when she gets a call from another regular client, the mother of Derek Masters, who is apparently Stoneybrook’s answer to the pre-boobage Olsen twins. He’s been spending a lot of time in Hollywood starring in movies and stuff, and now he’s back in town for a bit of well-earned R&R. Jessi, of course, is sworn to secrecy lest the paparazzi (for which Stoneybrook is so notorious) swoop in.

As Zack Morris would say… TIME-OUT! I just want to know–what the hell kind of town is this? Apparently it’s small and cute, yet it’s got a huge fashion industry as well as a significant media presence. What gives?

Ok, time in…

So Jessi tells the other babysitters about her Thursday appointment with Derek, but no one else. Imagine our surprise when she and Derek are mobbed by the paps! Oh noes!


At the next meeting of the BSC, Jessi is hella upset since Derek’s mom thinks she turned snitch. Stacey wonders if someone is listening in on their meetings (given the recent rash of totally irrelevant, BSC-related news leaks) which leads the girls to start frantically searching the room for bugs.


And no, I’m not talking about ants or something. That would make too much sense. They actually search the room for audio recording devices, as if anybody would be remotely interested in Kristy’s anti-ginger ramblings.

After finding the room clean (shocker!) the gals realize that one of the children must be reading their club notebook! That’s the only way anybody could have known about Charlotte’s crush or Derek’s quiet visit to Stoneybrook.

Time-out! Sorry to do this twice in one post but… did Stacey write about Charlotte ten seconds after she confessed her love for Buddy? If so, they didn’t show that, which makes the “stolen club notebook” theory a total wash. Oh, hell, let’s just go with it, shall we?

Time in!

Instead of asking each possible child, point-blank, if they’ve snooped through the notebook, the gals decide to pull various elaborate stunts to determine who is most likely to peek. This involves a lot of contrived situations in which the Kristi and the gang leave kids alone with this tempting book, and then watch to see if they will read the book.


Some of the ways in which the BSC conspire to leave their clients alone with the notebook really are diabolical, like when Mallory and Jessi pretend to have a coughing fit and leave some pig-tailed kid (I forget her name) alone with the book, then spy on her behind some bookshelves. It’s almost criminal how clever they are.

Well, the buck stops with little Jackie Rowdowsky, who tells the girls how uncool they are for writing about the kids in a secret notebook that no one but the BSC is allowed to see. Word, Jackie!

As a matter of fact, the Jessi and Dawn happen to be babysitting at Matt’s house the next day when they hear a knock at the door. It’s Jackie, and he’s got all the kids behind him.


No, it’s not the ginger uprising. Not this time, anyway. Actually, it’s all the kids coming by to tell the BSC that they have some ‘splainin’ to do!


Hmmm… Well, this is a sticky situation, isn’t it? For once, the girls actually do something right, sort of–Dawn explains that, just the way that doctors keep records of their patients, the BSC keeps records so that the rest of the Club will know how best to care for every child. It’s not a bad explanation, actually, though the idea that Dawn “Save the Trees” Schaffer could possibly be compared to a medical doctor is pretty damn laughable.

However, the children buy this load of semi-BS, and all is cool on that front.

As for the damn little snitch who informed on Charlotte and Derek, though? Well, turns out it’s Matt, the deaf kid. We find out he’s learning how to read lips and I guess he’s pretty damn good at it. He told his uncle (who works at the paper) about Derek’s arrival in Stoneybrook and apparently he also told Jackie about Charlotte. I guess Jessi helped Jackie learn some signs and stuff so Matt can make friends more easily.

For some damn reason, Jessi still thinks it’s appropriate to explain to Matt that sometimes, when people are speaking to one another, they don’t want you to hear what they’re saying and/or repeat it back to anybody.

Um, Jessi, I like you and everything, but I’m pretty sure that Matt knows that. He’s nine years old–not three. Obviously he’s just a bit of a trash-talker. Give it a few years and maybe he’ll start running a dishy website with all the latest dirt. Have we found the identity of Gossip Girl? I’ll never tell. 🙂 XOXO.

As expected, Matt learns the error of his ways, the kiddies are placated, and the BSC lives to sit another day.


The moral of the story: whenever something goes wrong, blame the nearest handicapped person!

Posted in BabySitters Club, Gossip Girl, Questionable Parenting, Stereotypes, TV recaps
6 comments on “The Baby-Sitters Club – “Jessi and the Mystery of the Stolen Secrets”
  1. Sadako says:

    Haha. The title of this one is so ridiculous–Jessi and the Mystery of the Stolen Secrets. Mystery! Secrets! Stealing!

    I never saw it but I always thought the girl they had to play Charlotte was so…ridiculously young. Like, I always thought Charlotte was meant to be precocious but the TV show girl was uber whiny and babyish. Is that just me?

  2. Sadako says:

    Er, I meant I never saw THIS episode, but I’ve seen others with Charlotte in them, like the Stacey becomes a model one where Charlotte is playing Snow White. “I want Staaaaaaaaaacey.” SHUT UP!

  3. R. G. Quimby says:

    OMG, thank you, Sadako. I’m glad somebody else hasn’t sipped the magical “Charlotte is perfect” Kool-Aid. The kid is so damn whiney!

  4. Beth says:

    Nice blog. Enjoyed going through it. Like the title too “The Baby-Sitters Club – “Jessi and the Mystery of the Stolen Secrets””

  5. Shannon says:

    I LOVE your BSC show recaps!

    My favorite part is when they’re tearing Claudia’s room apart looking for bugs. Dumbass kids.

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